I thought I would write a couple of blogs, a series if you will, about my perspective on parenting. Don't let the title mislead you. It is impossible to be a perfect parent, in fact it is impossible to be perfect at anything, especially when the rules are changing all the time. There isn't a book or any amount of advice that can give you the formula for being a good parent. It is all about trial and error (hopefully not too much error), adjusting on the fly and being open minded (not always my strongest asset).
I have to say first and foremost that parenting is a tough gig! Being a parent is the toughest job I have ever had. I always find it most intriguing when people who don't have children of their own make light the subject of parenting. They have all the answers, don't they? They role of parent is very different when you are submersed in the 24/7 nature of this beast. The long hours, sleepless nights and no pay (well at least not in the "paycheque" sense). No one would actually apply for a job posting that detailed the requirements for parenting! Parenting is the truest form of delayed gratification, loads of work up front with little reward; only to reap unlimited rewards on the backend.
Now of course I can only speak from the father's perspective and naturally only my experience. This isn't intended to be advice, but more my version of fatherhood thus far. I think parenting has a base line from which we can all launch from but shortly after liftoff you are on your own. For me, it wasn't until that shining moment of terrifying reality, oh about 6-12 hours before I left the hospital with my "bundle of joy", that I started to fully understand what I have got myself into. I replayed it over and over in my mind…"So, let me get this straight…this little tiny person who cannot survive without human intervention is my responsibility?? It doesn't go "home" after a long day? No matter how unhappy it is I can't return it? And…uuummmm…gulp…I am a father!?!" I can clearly remember the overwhelming fear welling up inside me as we walked to the car with my son (Mini-He); I don't think I have been that scared in all my life; I wasn't sure if I knew how to buckle a child seat right! The drive home was very quiet and odd. I couldn't stop thinking "We can't take him back now" "This is really happening" "What do I do next". We made it home, step one complete! Piece of cake, right?
Once I finally get home with junior that reality can blow your socks right off. THIS REALLY HAPPENING! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A FATHER. And I quickly realize that all the advice I received for months previous is completely and utterly useless! Sure the advice would have been great if I was caring for the child of the person giving the advice, but I am caring for a distinctly unique individual person who has their own unique style and flair. All the advice, previous care giving, babysitting, education, written material and wives' tales you have heard or experienced WILL NOT give you an edge. Child raising techniques are going to be different for each child, they have to be.
I faced some pretty somber and humbling days in the first couple weeks. But Mini-He is going to 12 this year, so I guess something went right.
Whoa that is heavy stuff. I'm tired!
Next Post Stage 1 – First 3 months – Routine, Routine, Routine
My Two Cents
Jamie
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