I Wonder If My Coffee Table Is Decaf?

Lately I have been drinking less coffee. Not entirely sure why, but I guess that is okay. Never drank coffee for the caffeine anyway, I gladly take decaf if it is available. I steer towards coffee more so for the warm cup of morning liquid to quiet the voices in my head. Perhaps the voices have gone? Or the surplus of water I drink has me too busy trying to find a new and quicker route to the bathroom to be bothered to listen to the voices or drink coffee!

I used to make my way to the cafeteria nearly every day for a morning cup of joe, but mostly to visit with Mama Rosa; she is a very nice lady who likes to share cooking tips with me. We banter back and forth about all kinds of foods. I am not in there as much as usual. She has made note of that and reminds me in way that I feel I have let her down in some way. Since I am not drinking as much coffee, I don’t go to the cafeteria as often. But when I do make my way in there it seems almost every time someone is waiting for Mama to make them a cappuccino or latte. When I do risk engaging the coffee bots in conversation they all say the same sort of thing. It is like they went to coffee classes and were taught how to respond to people in a social setting before they have their fix. I guess it is better than the alternative, “Back off asshole that is my cup of coffee!” So hats off to whoever is teaching them proper social etiquette. Their standard response is something along this line “Gotta have my morning kick of caffeine. Espresso gives a jolt!”, said with a jittery smile and noticeable facial tick slightly above the right eye.

I struggle with what to do, respond to this person in a polite way to avoid their pre-caffeine wrath or look at the floor, quickly get my coffee and get out. The hardest part is trying to hide my smile, but easily the best part about this whole silly story is quite simply the fact that these caffeine junkies are actually getting LESS caffeine in their morning espresso than if they were to get a regular cup of coffee! Now should I help them out by getting them more caffeine in the morning by providing them some helpful information? This may have come as a shock to you but because espresso is served in smaller servings the actual grams of caffeine is less than in a cup of coffee. A standard shot of espresso is about 1.5 ounces and contains about 77 milligrams of caffeine, whereas a standard cup of coffee is 8 ounces and contains about 145 milligrams of caffeine. As you can see by volume espresso has “more caffeine”, but by virtue of the fact that espresso is served in a smaller size you get less caffeine. Basically, all the espresso drinks (cappuccinos and lattes) are providing a lot less bang for your buck; literally! Now of course if you have double shots then yes you are getting more caffeine, but you may need to bring a loans officer with you to mortgage your house to pay for it. It goes to show you that if our minds are powerful and if we believe something to be true we react according to our belief regardless if the facts back it up! Funny stuff!

The next time you hear someone praising the “pick me up” effects of their morning cappuccino you can smile to yourself. Try and refrain from passing the above information along to the dedicated espresso drinker, unless you have Kevlar body armor, because I suspect the recipient will not be very open to idea that they have spent their child’s college funds on espresso shots, when they could have just bought a good old fashion cup of coffee.

My Two Cents

Jamie